Truth
by emily-derek-canon
Summary: Two years of lying to yourself and then finally revealing the truth, will it work or will it make things a lot more complicated.
1. Chapter 1

**I don't know what this is but i wanted to write and this came to me. I don't know if i will finish my other stories but i wanted to write and i didn't have any inspirations for my other story. let me know what you think of this and if i should continue or leave as it is. **

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><p>It had been two years since she had left and now she was beginning to wonder why she had, the feelings that she was running away from followed her. She doesn't know why she thought moving across an ocean would fix that. She is standing in her apartment looking out over the Thames and first the time in a long time she allows herself to think about what she had left behind, and the tears flow freely and for the first time in a long time she doesn't stop them.<p>

She picks up her phone and scrolls through her contacts and there is one name she can't scroll by this is the person she hasn't spoken to in over a year but she really needs to hear his voice right now. She needs to tell him the whole truth, he deserves that at least. Then she thinks that maybe he has moved on, that he doesn't want her to call and ruin anything that he might have going on.

She puts the phone back down, chickening out once again, she moves into the kitchen and pours herself a glass of wine, not that, that will make her feel any better. It might perhaps give her the courage to finally call him, she hopes.

Before she realizes whats happened she looks at the wine bottle and realises she has drank it all. She is not drunk but she can feel the effects of it. It helped her with what she wanted and she picked her phone up and called him. Her hands are shaking, she can't recall ever feeling this nervous over a phone call before.

She looks at the clock and figures it to be mid afternoon were he is, she is silently praying that he isn't busy or on a case, her thoughts are interrupted when he answers her call.

"Emily"

she is silent, suddenly lost all control over her voice. Dammit Emily speak you called him after all she thinks to herself.

"Emily, are you there?"

"hey yeah i'm here sorry"

"are you ok? you don't sound like yourself"

"yeah...maybe...no, i don't know, god i sound ridiculous, i'm sorry you are probably busy i'll just go, sorry"

"listen to me, i am not busy i'm at home so i have loads of time, tell me whats wrong please Em"

"I...I...god...I miss you, and i wanted to hear your voice and now i sound extremely pathetic and i know its completely out of the blue, like i haven't spoken to you in months and now, Jesus now i'm rambling."

"I miss you too Emily, and i find it kind of cute, your rambling i mean. I'm really glad you called me i was beginning to think you had forgot me or maybe i had done something, why did you never reply to me? did i do something?"

"No god no, you haven't done anything i mean that, it's just i don't even know what to say."

"it's me Em say whatever it is your feeling i'm here"

"Ok well can you promise not to interrupt till i am finished please"

"I promise"

"Ok, well here go's, you know why i left, i told you but you were right those feelings i had followed me here too, just like you said they would. I don't know why i ever thought that London would take away everything, i guess i was just running away again. I love my job i do, but it's not the same, it's not the family i had back home. I never thought it would of been but anyway that doesn't really matter. What matters is being over here has made me realize just what i have left behind, and to be honest i think i left some of me back there with you because i don't feel whole here. I want to come home and I want us to be us again."

"You can talk now by the way, that is if you are still there?"

"Yeah i'm still here, what are you saying Em? Are you saying that you want to come back to the BAU or are you saying what i am really hoping you are saying?"

"Well i don't know what you are hoping for so i can't answer that, what i can say is no i don't want to come back to the BAU i want to come home."

"Where is home?"

"With you Derek if you want that"


	2. Chapter 2

**I know this is just a short chapter but they will get better. Thank you so much to all the guest reviewers, I appreciate it. Hope you like this new chapter :)**

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><p>All she was met with is silence, <em>oh god what have i done <em>she thinks to herself, she looks at the clock and notices he hasn't said anything in over 10 minutes.

"Derek say something please"

He clears his throat "Emily"

"Yes" she can't hide the hopefulness from her voice.

"I do want that Em more than anything, and i mean that but i think i need to tell you something first and like you asked of me promise not to interrupt before im finished?"

"You are kind of scaring me here but i promise"

"Em, when you left i hated you, i hated you because you ran away again and i understand why you did it, but i couldn't help myself hating you for it. I don't hate you now, but it took me a while to come to terms with you leaving and when i did come to terms with it you kept ignoring me and dodging my calls. I met someone in this time and she is a really great girl Em, I am still with her but Emily i need to be honest with you ok, i thought i could settle down with her but there has always been something missing with us and it wasn't until last week when i sat down and spoke to Pen about it that i realised that the thing that was missing is that she isn't you. I want you to come home Em, I want you with me but i needed to be honest with you"

It was her time to play the silent game she doesn't know how to feel about his revelation, one hand she is happy he feels the same but on the other hand he has a girlfriend. An overwhelming feeling of jealousy washes over her.

"Em you still there say something baby please"

"Don't Derek, don't call me that when you have a girlfriend."

"Emily, I won't have as of tonight, please don't let that come between us please, i wanted to be upfront with you because you mean everything to me. please Emily"

She feels herself getting angry and she doesn't know why, she has no claim over him, but yet it feels like she has been stabbed through the heart.

"Derek, i think i should go before i say something i regret and i don't understand why i am so upset about this we weren't together but... i don't know"

"hey please don't be upset baby please, i understand that you are upset i would be too if you had said you were with someone. I'll let you go but i swear to you it is you i want, can i call you tomorrow please em?"

"Derek please don't call me that" the tears are running down her face and she can't hide the sadness from her voice. "Call me tomorrow and i don't know we can talk more i guess."

"Ok Em, please don't cry not when i can't comfort you please."

"Bye Derek"

She hangs up the phone and throws it on the couch, she doesn't know what she was expecting but that was not what she was hoping for. In her mind she can see that she shouldn't be this upset about it, they arn't together but at the moment she can't see that. She gets up and makes her way to bed hoping that tomorrow when she speaks to him it will all be better.

**Don't worry I will get them happier again but this is what came out when I started writing. Anyway leave a comment or whatever I love hearing what you think :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Again apologises cause its short but where I have left it felt like a good place to end this chapter. I promise the next few Chapters will be bigger because more stuff will be happening. **

**Thank you so much to all the reviews, follows and favourites - to all the people that reviewed who has an account I will Thank you properly soon when I have some more free time. and to the guest reviewers, thank you so much for your lovely words, I say this all the time but they make my day so much better and inspire me to keep writing.**

**I hope you all enjoy this chapter, and let me know what you guys think :)**

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><p>The next morning she wakes up and for those first couple of seconds she forgets everything and wishes that it could stay like that, but just as quick as the peace came it was gone. Last night comes straight back to her, she cringes silently inside about how she reacted. Of course he could move on, he had done nothing wrong, they weren't together before she left and they aren't together now. If only she could focus on that but she can't, no they weren't together but she thought they had something he had to have felt it for him to want the same as her now. She drags heself out of bed and makes her way to the kitchen to make herself coffee and to try and clear her head. God i am such a mess she thinks to herself.<p>

Later that afternoon she picks up her phone to call derek. Hoping she can keep her jealous feelings to herself this time. He answers after a few rings.

"Hey Em"

"Hey, Look Derek i am sorry about how i reacted last night, I can't say it doesn't hurt but you haven't done anything wrong, i guess i just have to get over it."

"Don't apologise, honestly if this was the other way around i would be feeling exactly like you are. I spoke to her last night after i got off the phone to you."

"I don't really know what to say here Derek"

"You dont have to say anything, just let me tell you what happened"

"Ok"

"Well i called her and asked her to come over, I sat her down and was truthful because she hasn't done anything wrong, i wanted to make it as easy for her as possible. Anyway I explained to her that for a while something felt wrong between us and she said she felt that from me. I explained to her about you and that it wouldn't be right for me to lead her on when I am in love with you. She asked why I got with her if i had these feelings for you so i exlained the whole Pen conversation and yeah it was hard because she was upset but she understood."

Hearing Derek talk about another woman like that hurt her like hell, she really wanted his girlfriend to be a bitch so he wouldnt be nice about her, but even if she was Derek would never say anything nasty about anyone, a quality she loved about him but at the moment hated.

"So...where do we go from here Derek? Hell i have no idea what to do or say right now."

"I can't tell you what to say Emily, I can say what i hope you will do and that is that you will come back home that we can work this out together, i love talking to you on the phone but this needs sorted when we are in the same room baby."

"Derek, I want to see you i do, can you come here?"

"Sure, I can speak to Hotch see if i can get next week off, will you be able to get time off then too?"

"Yeah, I am on holiday now for two weeks so i will be off."

"Ok Em, well i better go, i need to go to work. I will call you later and let you know if i can get the time off."

"Ok, bye Derek"

"Bye"

She feels really happy that he is coming and that he did what he said he would. She did want to go back but she didn't want to go to his house when she knew there would probably be something of her's there. This wasn't her being akward about it but, Derek was her's even if he didn't know it and she can't shake that feeling no matter how hard she tries.

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><p><strong>So do you think Emily is right for feeling like that or do you think she needs to get over it? I love hearing your thoughts :)<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for the reviews on the last chapter and to all the people that followed and favourited this story. Again I'm sorry for the short chapter, I promise the more I get into the story the longer it will be. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think, cause again I say this all the time but they really do make me want to write more. :) **

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing I just like to borrow them**

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><p>Emily got up really early because today was the day Derek was coming. She was really nervous and didn't know how this week would go. She hoped it would go ok and that they would know where to go from here.<p>

A couple of hours later her door knocked and she knew it was him, her stomach was full of butterflies as she made her way to the door to let him in. She opened the door and there he was she wanted to hug him but he bet her too it. As soon as he saw her he pulled her into the biggest hug.

"I have missed you so much Em"

"I've missed you too, come through"

He lets her out of the hug and they make their way through to the living room. She doesnt really know what to do or say, she is just looking at him with a confused expression on her face.

"What's wrong Emily?"

"Nothing, I just dont know what to say or do. I am so happy you are here and i don't want things to be awkward between us, i want us to be back how we were and i dont know how to do that."

"There is no akwardness here, i think you are just overthinking things, lets just relax get something to eat because i am hungry and we will watch a movie. We do need to talk but i am here for a week it can wait ok."

She smiles at him because he always knows what to say to make her feel better.

"That sounds really good, I'm not a great cook but i can make us a sandwich and while i'm doing that you get yourself comfy and pick a movie."

"Sounds good Em."

Later that day still sitting on the couch, Emily looks over at Derek and she just wants to hug him, but she feels that they need to talk before they get to that stage.

"Derek, can we talk now?"

"Of course we can"

"I'm sorry for the way i reacted, and for not really saying anything the last time we spoke. I want to be with you, I want to come home. I also want to be honest with you about how i feel."

"I want all of that too"

He reaches over and clasps her hand in his.

"Ok, the reason i didnt come to D.C and asked you to come here instead is because, now i know this is stupid ok and i'm going to sound completely crazy but i want us to be truthful right from the start, the way you were with me i guess. Anyway the reason was because all i could think about was you and that girl in your house and i didnt want to be there. I know it's stupid and pathetic and everything else in that category but yeah"

He lifts his hand to stroke her face.

"Emily, listen to me ok. You are none of those things well a little crazy but thats another reason why i love you. I understand why you feel like that, and i kind of thought that was the reason. I have a solution, I've just bought another property to do up, and right from when i first looked at it, i thought of you and me. I don't want us to live at my house i want us to live in our house."

Hearing him say those words was all she needed, she should of realised he wouldn't expect her to live in a house that was just him, he wasnt like that.

"I love you Derek"

"I love you too, baby now come over here and give me a hug."

She makes her way to him and they both get comfy on the couch holding eachother and to watch the end of the film, they both know there is a lot more to talk about but like they said before that can wait. For the rest of night they are just going to enjoy being with each other again. The important stuff will still be there another day.


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